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Sunday, August 26, 2007
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THE LITTLE BOAT
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Friday, August 24, 2007
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There was a little boy who lived by the sea and the one thing he loved best was to carve out little boats from the pieces of driftwood that came from that sea. One day he found washed up on the shore a solid block of wood so perfect for sculpting that he told himself, "This is going to be the best boat I'll make!" and so he proceeded to carve it, making sure that the details were perfect. After sculpting it, he sanded it and painted and lacquered it. He'd then take it wherever he went, always showing it off to his friends.
One day, he waded into the sea, put his little boat on the water, and watched it bob up and down on the water. He was very proud of his boat. But suddenly, a great wave descended on him and the little boat, and the wave engulfed the little boat until it drifted far, far away from the boy and disappeared. The boy ran to his father, crying, and his father tried to comfort him, to no avail.
The days went past, and became weeks, then months, but the boy still missed his little boat. One day, while he was accompanying his father to town, he wandered into a store, and there, among the other souvenirs and merchandise the store was selling, was his little boat! He then approached the owner, and asked him where he got the little boat over there by the shelf.
"Well now," said the owner, "someone came into the store just last week and sold me that little boat, and since it's a fine piece of craftsmanship, I thought it was a good deal."
"Sir, you see, I was the one who made that little boat." the boy said. "I carved it, sanded it, painted and lacquered it. It's the best little boat I ever made, and it got lost at sea and I've searched and searched for it and now I'm so happy to have found it. Can I have it back please?"
The owner looked at the boy, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry son, but I paid for that little boat, and if you want to get it back, then you'd have to buy it ." The boy, who didn't have any money on him at the time, said, "Okay. I'll be back soon. Just keep it in reserve for me, okay?" Then he took one last look at his little boat, and ran to join his father. As soon as they came home, he went to his room, took his piggy bank, broke it, and counted the money in it. Alas, he came up short! He sat there, tears rolling down his face, and his father came in the room. "Son, what's the matter?," his father asked. So the boy told him what happened, and his father said, "Son, why do love that little boat so much? There are so many pieces of wood that wash up daily from the sea. You could make another little boat, or even more if you wished. "
The boy replied, "Father, I loved that little boat so much. I couldn't eat nor sleep, wondering what had happened to it all these months. And to have found it after all this time! Father, I don't care how much it costs, I'm going to work hard so I can save up to buy back my little boat." His father lovingly looked at his son's sad face, and said, "Okay, my son, I understand. Here, I'll give you the money to buy back your boat," and handed him the money. The boy hugged his father tightly, whispering, "Thank you, father." and ran off towards the store, and bought back his little boat. He took it home, cradling it in his arms, and showed it off to his father, his mother, and the rest of his family. From then on, he never let it drift too far at sea, and always kept it at his side.
Jesus is that boy, and you and I are that little boat. He molded us, polished us, cherished us so much, and when we drifted off where he couldn't find us or reach us, he became so sad. And, after having found us again, he did not hesitate to pay whatever price in order to redeem us. With Jesus, he paid for us by giving up his life. When you have someone who loves you that much, and you sometimes feel that nobody in this world really cares whether you come and go, take heart; somebody cares, and will never, ever let you out of his sight ever again.
(by: Fr. Arlo Yap, SVD from FOOD FOR THOUGHT)
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TAWA Muna
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Thursday, August 23, 2007
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A Filipino, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Filipino was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from one of most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," the Filipino replied.
"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.
"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.
Filipino smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!
****************** The End ******************
"TEACHER: Class draw a fish..!
CLASS: Yes ma'am!
TEACHER: Pedro, why is
PEDRO: Ma'am, bagoong po yan."
****
"Pulis at Intsik:
Pulis: boss konting abuloy lang, may namatay na pulis.
Intsik: ako malaki migay amuloy masta alaw-alaw melon pulis paktay
oke.."
****
"PASYENTE: Dok. . . Ninenerbyos po ako! First operation ko po ito. . .
DOK: Alam ko ang nararamdaman mo. . .Kasi ikaw rin ang una kong
pasyente"
****
Tanga: kamusta yung exam mo.
Bobo: wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung papel ko. Ikaw?
Tanga: naku, blangko din yung papel ko, baka sabihin ni titser,
nagkopyahan tayo
****
"WIFE: maghiwalay na tayo!
MAN: ok,akin ang bahay!
WIFE: akin ang farm!
MAN: akin ang kotse!
WIFE: ah pero akin driver
MAN: pwes, magkakamatayan tyo, MATAGAL NA SIYANG AKIN!"
*****
"Mrs: hoy!Tama na yang beer mo masyado ka magastos
Mr: Ikaw make-up mo ang magastos
Mrs: Nagpapaganda ako para syo
Mr: Ako umiinom naman para gumanda ka!"
*****
"May bagong kasal:
MRS: Honey malapit na tayong maging 3 dito sa bahay
MR: Talaga honey? Pinasaya mo ako sa balita mo
MRS: Oo dito na titira ang nanay ko!"
****
REPORTER: Sir, kung wala po kayong evidence, witness or suspect ano na
po ang next step ninyo??
Police: DNA na...
REPORTER: sir, ano po yung DNA ???
Police: "Di Namin Alam "
*****
"Man1: Away kami ni misis, nag-Historical siya
Man2: Pare baka ang ibig mo sabihin ay nag-Hysterical
Man1: Hinde, historical kasi inungkat lahat ng kasalanan ko!"
****
A black baby is given a pair of wings by a fairy..
BABY: Does this mean I am an angel???
FAIRY: (laughs) of course not! tong negrang to! ambisyosa! PANIKI ka!!
*****
In a party, a handsome guy approached a girl and asked; are you going to
dance??
The girl felt so happy that someone finally asked her and she said;
"yes" and the guys said "that's good, can I have your chair??"
*******
"Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
ANAK:
TATAY(Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh! Lumuhod tayo!"
******
Employee: boss pwede ba ako nalang ang papalit dun pwesto sa manager
natin na kamamatay lang?
Boss: ok lang sa akin na ikaw ang pumalit sa kanya, ewan ko lang kung
papayag ang punerarya :)
******
bobo1: Pare, alam mo ba tawag sa paniki na mababa ang lipad?
bobo2: hindi eh! ano ba pare?
bobo1: Lowbat pare! Lowbat!
****
Boy: Nay! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Bat mo naman nasabi?
Boy: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ni ma'am
yung katabi ko. Muntik na ako!
****
Bush visited the
Bush: "Lets help one another..."
Erap: "Tayo'y magtulungan. .."
Bush: "...let's strive together..."
Erap: "...tayo'y magsikap..."
Bush: "...because in union there is strength."
Erap: "...dahil sa sibuyas may titigas!"
*****
Bongbong -- Pare sinong idol mo?
Chavit--Si Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Bongbong-- Sige nga, spell Schwarzenegger.
Chavit --Hindi, joke lang pare, si Jet Li talaga idol ko.
****
Erap writing on a slum book:
Favorite Actor:
Arnold Schchwarzenne. .. (erase)
Arnold Clavio
****
Pare 1: Pre, nasusuka ako kaya lang di ako masuka
Pare 2: Madali lang yan, pre ~ sundutin mo tonsils mo (pare 1 sinundot ang tonsils ..)
Pare 1: Di pa rin e Pare 2: Hmmmmm ... sundutin mo pwet mo (pare 1 sinundot ang pwet ...)
Pare 1: Wala pa rin
Pare 2: Ngayon, tsaka mo ule isundot sa bibig mo ... pag hindi ka pa masuka nyan ewan ko na!
*****
Sa isang ospital...
Lola (may cancer) : Doc, anong gagawin nyo sa akin?
Doc : Che-chemo, lola.
Lola : Titi mo rin! Bastos ka! walang modo!
****
Holduper: Pili ka, wallet mo o pasabugin utak mo?
Biktima: Ikaw na bahala..bastaa pareho po yan walang laman!
****
Pare1: Pare, bat naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? wala ka pa
bang napupusuan?
Pare2: Meron.. Manhid ka lang!
(nyahahahaha! )
*****
Sa isang mumurahing airline:
Stewardess: Sir, would you like some dinner?
Passenger: Ano ba ang mga choices?
Stewardess: 'Yes' or 'No' lang po.
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Famous Statements
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007
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1. God is real, unless declared integer
2. Before borrowing money from a friend, decide whether you need more.
3. Death is hereditary.
4. There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.
5. An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
7. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
8. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
9. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
10. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
11. Well done is better than well said.
12. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.
13. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
14. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
15. Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.
16. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
-thanks to funlok
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