PEANUTS

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.

For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.

When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well.

As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, 'Up Nuts', and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, 'Down Nuts', and they all sat back down in their seats.

After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, 'Cheer Nuts'.

They all broke out into applause and cheered.

When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, 'Booooo Nuts' and they all started booing and cat calling.

Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he turned, there was a riot in progress.

Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, 'What in the world happened?'

The assistant replied, 'Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'PEANUTS!'

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This is a very good reminder for all of us: HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS

This would give you guides on how to control your emotions towards your better-half, friends, officemates and all the people around you, especially your "boss" . The rules of practicing "ugaling langit, ugaling kaaya-aya" :

#1 Ang naunang magalit ang may karapatang magalit. Pag naunahan ka na ng galit niya, tumahimik ka na lang muna.

#2 Walang taong nag-aaway mag-isa. Pag hindi kayo sumagot o pumatol, titigil din daw ang taong nakikipag- away sa inyo.

#3 Ang taong galit, ' bingi. ' If someone is angry, wala raw pinakikinggan, so, don ' t try to explain and fight back. Hindi ka niya iintindihin dahil wala siyang naririnig kundi ang sarili nya.

#4 Ang taong galit, ' abnoy. ' Ayon sa pastor, Biblical daw ito? because the Lord said when He was crucified, "Father, patawarin mo sila dahil hindi nila alam ang kanilang ginagawa." Modern term for these kinds of people are abnoys, so you better not get angry para huwag kang matawag na abnoy.

You should also know and realize that the persons who make your day bad are jewels, because you need them for you to mature. Hangga ' t andyan daw sila at kinaiinisan mo, ibig sabihin, immature ka pa. God will not take away those people; it ' s for you to take away your bad feelings towards them. You ' ll know na mature ka na pag dumating ' yung time na hindi ka na naiinis sa mga taong ito because you have learned to accept them and to have patience with them.

#5 Finally, the best part of this is to tell yourself na, because of this person, "I will grow mature," and that DAHIL SA CONTRIBUTION NIYA SA MATURITY MO KUKUNIN DIN SYA NI LORD.

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3 Reasons why Laughing is Good for your Health

Erap to Cardinal: Hanggang ngayon galit pa ang simbahan sa akin. This is unfair.
Cardinal: Why did you say that?
Erap: Mayroong Sabado de GLORIA, Sagrado de CORAZON, at Domingo de RAMOS. Bakit ako wala??? Eh, I was also a President!
Cardinal (after a careful thought): OK, from now on, yours is ASS Wednesday!

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Erap dreamed that he died and went to heaven. St. Peter gave him Ai-ai delas Alas as partner, saying, 'Kung mabait ka sana , mas maganda ang partner mo.' Erap saw Chavit with Gretchen Barretto and said, 'Bakit si Chavit, mas madaming kasalanan, si Gretchen ang partner?' St. Peter: Iho, parusa yan kay Gretchen.

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Why did Erap shoot his wife when he bought a house?
Because the contract reads: 'Execute all 3 copies together with your wife...'

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Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband. Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband. Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

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Pari nagmimisa: sino sa inyo ang may kagalit??
Taass kamay lahat pwera sa isang matandang babae
Pari: si lola lang ang walang kagalit... ano edad nyo lola??
Lola: 93 anyos.
Pari: tingnan nyo si lola.. 93 na pero walang kagalit!! Lola bakit wala kayong kagalit???
Lola: PATAY na ang mga WALANGHIYA!!!

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JUAN; Tay ! Penge P20 bibili ako ng de lata.
TATAY: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
JUAN: Paano?
TATAY: KANG GUD!

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A mental patient singing while lying in a hospital bed, after a song dumapa siya.
The nurse asked: O bakit ka bumaliktad??
He answered: Adik ka ba??? Side B na kaya!!!

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Job interview

Boss: Why should we hire you?
Tikyo: Mas mabuti po ang bagong tulad ko dahil wala pang sungay.
Boss: English please.
Tikyo: Well, you see, uh, I'm brand new so I'm not yet horny!

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BF: sunduin kita mamaya,bubusina nalang ako sa kapag nasa harap na ng bahay nyo
GF: Ok sige, anong dala mong sasakyan
BF: Wala, busina lang

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Pinoy coping mechanism at work!
A: Magkano po ang tinola?
M: 20 lang.
A: May sabaw?
M: Libre na ang sabaw namin.
A: Kanin, meron?
M: 5 lang.
A: May tutong?
M: Libre na.
A: Sige manong, tutong at sabaw nga!

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Great signs!
1. Gynecologist - Dr. Chua at your cervix.
2. Septic tank truck - Yesterday's meals on wheels.
3. Plumber's office - We repair what your husband fixed.
4. Tire shop - Invite us to your next blowout.
5. Electrical shop - Let us remove your shorts.
6. Maternity room door - Push, push, push!
7. Optometrist's clinic - If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

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Inspirational quote that we must always remember:

kung kaya ng iba...

pagawa mo sa kanila...

dont force yourself.. make your life easy!!!


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Three reasons why laughing is good for your health:

1. Your heart - laughing lowers your blood pressure while increasing the amount of oxygen carried in your blood.
2. Your lungs - a deep belly laugh is like an internal aerobic workout, helping you breath more efficiently.
3. Your anxiety level - laughing lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, reducing tension. So take time to laugh even at the corniest joke!

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Papaya Dance the Next Macarena in US

Yup, you heard it right. The Papaya dance which was then popularized by Edu Manazano in his Game KNB show now a hit in America. The hosts of Good Morning America started to dance the Papaya song. Diane Sawyer, Robin Roberts, Chris Cuomo, and Sam Champion all danced the Papaya dance craze that Edu Manzao started!

It maybe recalled that the song was made by Urszula Dudziak in the 90’s.

GOOD MORNING AMERICA DANCES PAPAYA
Video fromrhoroe

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EURO - English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English" .

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

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