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The Monk and The Baby

. Saturday, August 30, 2008
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Once there was a monk who lived in a village. One day a young village girl became pregnant and was unmarried. She did not want to expose her boyfriend. Out of fear when her parents asked her who is responsible, she pointed her finger to that monk.

Her parents were infuriated. The next day, the whole village turned up to blame the him. "How could you?" "You dirty old man!" "You are a disgrace!" "Get out of our village, you hypocrite!" Some villagers even threaten the his life.

After listening to all the accusations, what he said was "Is that so?" and went back to meditate. Months went by; the young girl gave birth to a baby. The parents of the young girl were forced to find a father for the child.

The parents and the villagers went up to approach him saying "You are responsible for this baby; therefore you should bring up the baby!" Once again, he said "Is that so?" He took the young baby in his arms and went back.

By this time the he has lost his reputation but it did not trouble him. He took very good care for this baby and he manages to obtain milk and everything the child needed from his neighbors.

After a year, he young girl felt ashamed and guilty and wanted to see her baby. She finally told the real story to her parents. When all the villagers came to know the truth, they all felt ashamed of having wrong him.

So all of them gathered and went to the monk asking for forgiveness. Once again, after listening to them said "Is that so?" He handed the baby back to the young girl.


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Connery launches book at festival

. Wednesday, August 27, 2008
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Scottish acting legend Sir Sean Connery has celebrated his 78th birthday by launching his memoirs at a sell-out event in Edinburgh.

Sir Sean launched Being A Scot in front of a 300-strong crowd, which included First Minister Alex Salmond, at the Edinburgh International Book Festival.

The actor backed calls by the SNP for a separate Scottish Olympic team.

He told the audience: "Scotland should always be a stand-alone nation at whatever, I believe."

The former James Bond actor also revealed his enthusiasm for US tycoon Donald Trump's controversial plans for a £1bn golf resort in north east Scotland.

'Local repercussions'

He told how he met the tycoon in New York soon after the proposals were announced.

Connery told the audience: "I said 'Well, I think it's terrific'.

"But I had no idea what local repercussions would be.

"My first response was I couldn't see anything but benefits for that part of Scotland because it's pretty neglected, apart from the oil fields."

Sir Sean joked with the audience about the stick he now faces from Celtic fans since switching his football allegiance to Old Firm rivals Rangers.

He said he had been a Celtic supporter when he was younger, after being introduced to the club by his father.

He was even involved in a benefit match for their legendary former manager Jock Stein.

"Then I changed my allegiance later with (Rangers owner) David Murray," he said.

"I met him when I got the freedom of the city here and immediately, we had chemistry.

"We enjoyed each other's company - he's an amazing chap and we've stayed very, very good friends since."

He added, to laughter from the crowd: "And I get spat on if I go to Parkhead."



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Bartering sex for stuff or services

While she was studying in Brazil during college, the one thing Stephanie Gerson longed to do before leaving was spend time in the thick of the Amazon rain forest. Unfortunately, she couldn't find a tour that would take her past the forest's edge.

So, when a college-aged busboy at a resort she was visiting began flirting with her, she asked him if he thought a tourist could survive alone in the jungle.

"He laughed and told me I was nuts," says Gerson, 27, who works part-time in online marketing for a chocolate company in San Francisco.

Then he told her that he'd grown up in the jungle in a nearby indigenous community. That was all Gerson needed to hear. Although she wasn't attracted to the guy, Gerson flirted right back in the hopes that he would be her jungle tour guide. It worked. The busboy wormed his way out of work, and the two headed into the rain forest.

"It was amazing," Gerson says of her adventure in 2000. "We built our homes out of palm leaves, I saw animals I'd never seen before, he taught me the medicinal properties of all the plants, we picked fruit off the trees, we swam with and ate piranhas. And, of course, we had sex ... for almost two weeks."

Body currency system

Gerson never felt sleazy or uncomfortable with her unspoken arrangement with the busboy.

"It was a good barter both ways," she says. "I got to stay in the jungle, and he got to have sex with a cute, young American girl."

Such trades aren't so unusual. Throughout history, humans have used their bodies to get what they want -- from ancient Egyptian ruler Cleopatra, who cemented her power through liaisons with Roman rulers Julius Caesar and Mark Antony, to the man and woman who were arrested at a Fort Wright, Kentucky, motel in late June for allegedly swapping sex for gasoline. Regardless of our motivation, scientists say we're hardwired to use our bodies as a bargaining chip.

A recent study of 475 University of Michigan undergraduates ages 17 to 26 found that 27 percent of the men and 14 percent of the women who weren't in a committed relationship had offered someone favors or gifts -- help prepping for a test, laundry washing, tickets to a college football game -- in exchange for sex. On the flip side, 5 percent of the men surveyed and 9 percent of the women said they'd attempted to trade sex for such freebies.

And although they weren't hard up for resources, the students surveyed "recognized the value of this socioeconomic currency system," says Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan School of Public Health, who published his findings in the April issue of "Evolutionary Psychology."

"It's more about getting what you want than getting what you need," he says. "Unless you think everyone needs a $200 Louis Vuitton bag."

The handyman hookup


But unattached coeds aren't the only ones who barter with their bodies. Some professionals will attest that their skills are, well, sexy.

"Women are turned on just by the simple idea of their guy getting off his ass and doing something for them," says Rocky Fino, author of "Will Cook for Sex: A Guy's Guide to Cooking."

It works both ways, he adds.

"Give it to me first thing in the morning, and I'll play [handyman] all day," says Fino, a 39-year-old father of two and part-time construction worker.

Ben Corbett, a 39-year-old contractor from Boulder, Colorado, credits his tool belt with prompting the barrage of come-ons he fields from female clients -- most of them married -- on a regular basis.

"It starts with the flirting, and it just progresses," says Corbett, who has run a construction and remodeling business for 20 years. "They'll touch my hand, and there's all this physical contact. Or they'll run around in their pajamas."

"Once," he says, "I was painting the hallway right outside a client's bedroom, and she was lying on her bed like a girl at a slumber party with her legs up and her arms crossed and her head resting on them, asking me if I had a girlfriend.

"It's all about the fantasy of being taken by the rough-hewn construction guy," muses Corbett, who, despite the temptation, has avoided getting sexually involved with his clientele for fear of jeopardizing his business.

It's the biology, stupid


Call it crass, sexist or gender stereotyping all you want, but there are thousands of years of biological programming at work here, says Dr. Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy at the Council for Relationships, a nonprofit relationship-counseling group based in Philadelphia.

Plain and simple, a partner who provides more resources -- wealth, shelter, home repairs -- is seen as more attractive and stands to reap more sexual rewards.

Or, as Fariello puts it, "I don't get anybody in my office who says, 'My husband sits on the couch all day and eats bonbons, and I want to have sex with him all the time.'"


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Visualise your Goal

. Wednesday, August 20, 2008
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The Catalina Island is twenty-one miles away from the coast of California, and many people have taken the challenge to swim across it.

On July 4th 1952, Florence Chadwick stepped into the water off Catalina Island to swim across to the California coast. She started well and on course, but later fatigue set in, and the weather became cold.

She persisted, but fifteen hours later, numb and cold, she asked to be taken out of the water.
After she recovered, she was told that she had been pulled out only half a mile away from the coast. She commented that she could have made it, if the fog had not affected her vision and she would have just seen the land.

She promised that this would be the only time that she would ever quit.

She went back to her rigorous training. And two months later she swam that same channel. The same thing happened. The fatigue set in, and the fog obscured her view, but this time she swam with faith and vision of the land in her mind. She knew that somewhere behind the fog was land.

She succeeded and became the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel. She even broke the men's record by two hours.

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES


When you set your goal, keep pressing on even when you are tired, physically and mentally, and even though there are many challenges ahead.

Keep the vision of your goal crystal clear before you and never, never, never… give up!

See the reaching, commit to it, and you will surely see your goal realized.


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Should I get a dog?

Should I get a Dog OR....



.....have children?










What do you think?


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Science Exam

. Monday, August 18, 2008
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If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers. Some of them are hysterical.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.


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Beijing Olympics: 'Ethnic' children exposed as fakes in opening ceremony

. Saturday, August 16, 2008
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The children accompanied the soldiers carrying in the national flag at the most solemn moment of the ceremony.

They were dressed in costumes associated with the country's ethnic minorities, including those from troubled areas such as Tibet and the muslim province of Xinjiang. Such displays of "national unity" are a compulsory part of any major state occasion.

But the children were all from the Han Chinese majority, which makes up more than 90 per cent of the population and is culturally and politically dominant, according to an official with the cultural troupe from which they were selected.

"I assume they think the kids were very natural looking and nice," Yuan Zhifeng, deputy director of the Galaxy Children's Art Troupe said.

The official guide to the opening ceremony said that the children did not just represent but "came from" China's ethnic groups.

"Fifty-six children from 56 Chinese ethnic groups cluster around the Chinese national flag, representing the 56 ethnic groups," it said.

This point was put to Wang Wei, executive vice-president of the Beijing organising committee at a press conference today.

"I think you are being very meticulous," he said. He said it was "traditional" to use dancers from other ethnic groups in this way.

"I would argue it is normal for dancers, performers, to be dressed in other races' clothes," he said. "I don't know exactly where these performers are from."

The initial triumph of the opening ceremony has already been clouded by revelations that the little girl who sand "Hymn to the Motherland", a patriotic Chinese anthem, was lip-synching to the pre-recorded voice of another girl who had been told she was not pretty enough to appear. The "footprint fireworks" shown on television were also pre-recorded and digitally enhanced.

The discovery that the children representing ethnic groups as diverse as Mongolians and members of the Li group from the south-western mountains were all in fact Han will hardly be noticed in China, where such practices are normal.

Nevertheless it is a sign of how sensitive ethnic relations in China are. At national Communist Party and state congresses, while the Han Chinese delegates all wear suits, carefully chosen members of ethnic minorities are told to wear traditional costume.

"Minority dances" are a regular part of state-sponsored entertainments, with performers coming from all over the country without having to belong to the relevant group.


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Proof or Hoax? Bigfoot Said Found in Georgia

. Friday, August 15, 2008
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Two Georgia men claim to have found in the northern woods of that state something that has been often reported but never proven to exist: a Bigfoot.

They say they have a body, photos of the body, and DNA evidence — some or all of which will be revealed this Friday, Aug. 15, at a press conference in Palo Alto, Calif.

If the group does have a Bigfoot carcass (and if they actually show the body, instead merely displaying photographs of a supposed body), then perhaps scientists will take note. Still, it's not clear how, exactly, the group will prove that what they have is a Bigfoot. Because there is no comparison specimen, there is no DNA analysis that can definitively identify Bigfoot tissue.

Readers may recall the much-hyped press conference held on May 30, where a man claimed he would provide "definitive proof" of alien visitation. His "proof" turned out to be a short fuzzy video clip of what he said was an alien head outside his window trying to ogle his teen daughters. Needless to say, top scientists were not awestruck by his evidence.

History repeats?

This is not the first time a Bigfoot body has been claimed to have been found. A man named Tom Biscardi, founder of something called the Great American Bigfoot Research Organization, once claimed he had captured a Bigfoot. On Aug. 19, 2005, Biscardi appeared on the radio show "Coast to Coast with George Noory." Biscardi claimed his group had captured a Bigfoot a week earlier, a male beast that weighed over 400 pounds and stood 8-feet tall. He said he would be presenting photos of it several days later. It turned out to be a hoax.

Interestingly, Biscardi is also involved in the new Bigfoot body discovery.

Speaking on behalf of the Georgia men this week, Biscardi said, "Extensive scientific studies will be done on the body by a team of scientists including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist, a paleontologist and other scientists over the next few months at an undisclosed location" under armed guard.

If it all sounds very cloak-and-dagger, it is. Unnamed experts? Undisclosed location? Sounds more like "The X-Files" than real science.

Marketing scheme?

In 2005, Biscardi promoted a pay-per-view cable TV show in which he offered viewers the chance to see a Bigfoot captured on live television for only $59.95. That never happened, but Biscardi did recently direct and produce a film called "Bigfoot Lives."

Surely the publicity from this press conference might boost his film's sales...

Bigfoot researcher Loren Coleman, while stopping short of authenticating the claims, wrote on the Web site Cryptomundo.com, "I feel, in all honesty, this, indeed, may be the real deal, and I say this carefully after reviewing information that has been shared privately with me."

So has a Bigfoot finally been found, after all these years? Or is this just the latest hoax to embarrass Bigfoot believers and bring further ridicule to a field sorely in need of science?

Apparently we will see.



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How to buy a new car and not get screwed

. Thursday, August 14, 2008
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In this six-minute video from Ignite Seattle, Rob Gruhl offers advice on getting a good deal when shopping for a new car.



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This Guy Is So Dead

Chinese Olympian Zhang Liang showed up ready to compete in the third heat of the singles rowing event on Saturday. Problem was, he was scheduled to be in the second heat, which had already taken place. He was disqualified, which is probably cool with the Chinese government, considering how laid-back they've been about this whole Olympics thing.

Oh, so he cost his country TWO shots at a medal. Well, I know China can be a little harsh with its ignorance of human rights and maybe a bit too controlling with its Olympic image, but I'm sure Zhang is fine. As long as he slipped over the border under cover of darkness and has done nothing but put distance between himself and his former home country, which he will never see again if he wants to live. I love happy endings.


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Check out the Cleanest Car in Beijing

. Tuesday, August 12, 2008
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Getting attention in Beijing is tough these days if you aren't an Olympian wearing gold or a protester unfurling a Tibetan flag, but Mini's managed to do it with a rickshaw made from the back half of the Mini Clubman.

According to China Car Times, Mini had the body shipped from Germany to Hong Kong, where it was made into rickshaws to publicize the company's decision to sell the Clubman in China. The work is said to be top-notch, with a moon roof, leather seats and gold dragons. No word on what the rickMini weighs, but the guy pedaling the one in the pic might've given Samuel Sanchez a run for the gold.

Mini isn't the only automaker hoping to make a buck on the Games. At least nine cars sold in China have special "Olympics packages" offering various levels of extras, from hotter engines to gift bags full of goodies.

More pics at China Car Times HERE.


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How Coffee Affects our Body

. Monday, August 11, 2008
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Coffee can make us feel more alert, boost our metabolism, make our heart race, affect our digestive system and more. And though most of us are aware of the brief caffeine high that coffee offers, most of us don't really know how coffee truly affects our body.

To learn more about the effects of coffee, both immediate and long-term, keep reading.

Coffee as a Stimulant


Coffee and caffeine are stimulants. You know that when you drink coffee you feel more awake, but you also know that too much coffee can give you the jitters or cause irritability.

Because coffee is a stimulant, it can also wreak havoc on your sleeping schedule. If you have trouble falling asleep at night, try cutting back on your coffee consumption or opting for water or decaf after noon.

Coffee on the Digestive System

Coffee actually has fairly high acid levels, particularly with beans like Kenyan or Ethiopian roasts. This is why when you drink too much coffee on an empty stomach, you'll often experience "coffee tummy" or "coffee gut," a basic discomfort in your digestive system.

The caffeine and acid in coffee can also be problematic for people suffering from ulcers. So, if you're having trouble with coffee, try switching to water, herbal teas or drinking milk with your coffee.

Coffee and Antioxidants

Coffee is actually the primary source of antioxidants for most North Americans. Antioxidants are, essentially, any compounds that fight or neutralize free radicals, which cause cells to break down and are cancer causing agents.
Studies have shown that coffee consumption can reduce the risk of developing liver cancer, throat cancer, Type 2 Diabetes, Alzheimer's Disease, Parkinson's disease and cancer of the esophagus.

Coffee and Physical and Mental Performance

Coffee isn't just a study aid because it helps you stay awake - regular coffee consumption can actually improve your cognitive ability. A recent study showed that participants who regularly consumed at least one to two coffees a day scored higher on short term memory recall, spatial ability, logic tests and general IQ testing.

Coffee and Weight Loss

Coffee is a stimulant, meaning with every sip of caffeine, your metabolism will get a kick start. You'll also have more energy. For example, if you read the ingredients list for most pill-form dietary or weight-loss aids, you'll see one of the main ingredients is often caffeine.

Coffee and Your Teeth


While coffee can actually reduce cavities thanks to its acidity, it can also cause major teeth staining. To keep your teeth white, follow a cup of coffee with a bottle of water and brush your teeth at least two to three times a day.


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Bush + Olympics + Stunning Bikini Babe = Best Image EVER

Check out Bush + Olympics + Stunning Bikini Babe = Best Image EVER




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Miley Cyrus - 7 Things (Parody)

. Friday, August 8, 2008
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Check out the parody of Miley Cyrus' Song 7 Things




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16 Year Old Boy Figures Out How To Rip Off Sex Offenders, Get Rich


A teenage boy in Sweden has it all figured out: he can make a quick killing ripping off online perverts utilizing the same methods cops use to bust predators: posing as a gateway to underage girls.

Except sometimes dumb people actually report him to the police...

1) The boy advertised the services of young women, who would pose for paying customers on webcams should the customers fork over their bank accounts and, for no apparent reason, their access codes. Unsurprisingly, there were plenty of idiots who actually agreed.

2) Here's the best part: the unnamed boy then decided to double-punk their punk asses, writing from a separate account that he was a police investigator and that there had been some suspicious, sex offense-related activity on each customer's account. The customer was then asked to once again hand over his (or her?) bank info-- again, with the access code-- so the "investigator" could check for nefarious activity. Why anyone at this point would not have learned to not hand over their info, we'll never understand. Why ever would anyone give someone they think is a cop, who e-mails them, their bank info so a cop can go and confirm that, yes, they have paid for underage girls to strip for them... well, that's just beyond us. (Perhaps they thought the girls were really 18? Even so: idiots.)

3) The boy makes off, this time, with about ten grand U.S. from his devoted fanbase.

4) We're not sure how it happened, but somebody must have tipped the police off, again risking their own arrest ("Hello, headquarters? Yeah, you're gonna love this... got a guy here who says he was trying to buy a subscription to a website that claims to have underage girls doing live peep shows. His money was taken by some kid who's laughing his ass off with me now. What do you wanna do with him? No, not that kid... the guy who got caught trying to watch underage strip shows?")

5) Anyway, the kid got 80 hours of community service even though he was convicted on ten counts of fraud. We're guessing the judge secretly wanted to just pat him on the back and turn him loose...

Via The Local.


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10 mispronunciations that make you sound stupid

Right or wrong, people often judge you by the way you pronounce things. Say a word incorrectly and POW — they’ve pegged you as a provincial, poorly educated moron. Toni Bowers offers a list of commonly mangled words so you can double-check your own pronunciation.

#1: Realtor

Many people — I’ve even heard it from people on national TV — pronounce this word REAL-uh-ter. Is this a case of wide-spread dyslexia, transposing the a and the l? It’s REAL-tor. That’s it. You’d think only two syllables would be easier to pronounce, but apparently not.

#2: Nuclear

Do you know how tough it is to be an advocate for the correct pronunciation of this word (NU-clee-er) when the president of the United States pronounces it NU-cu-lar? I don’t buy that it’s a regional thing. Ya’ll is a regional thing; nu-cu-lar is not.

#3: Jewelry

It’s not JOO-la-ree, it’s JOOL-ree. Again with the making things harder by turning a word into three syllables. What’s with that?

#4: Supposedly/supposably

The latter is a nonexistent word.

#5: Supposed to/suppose to

I think this one is more a matter of a lazy tongue than of ignorance. It takes an extra beat in there to emphasize the d at the end, but it’s worth it. And never omit the d if you’re using the term in a written communication or people will think you were raised in a hollowed-out tree trunk somewhere.

#6: Used to/use to
Same as above.

#7: Anyway/anyways

There’s no s at the end. I swear. Look it up.

#8: February/Febuary

As much as it galls me, there is an r between the b and the u. When you pronounce the word correctly it should sound like you’re trying to talk with a mouthful of marbles — FEB broo ary.

#9: Recur/reoccur

Though the latter is tempting, it’s not a word. And again, why add another syllable if you don’t need it?

#10: Mischievous/mischievious

I know, I know, it sounds so Basil Rathbone to say MIS cha vous, but that’s the right way. Mis CHEE vee us is more commonly used, but it’s wrong.

And last but not least, my personal all-time pet peeve — the word often. It should be pronounced OFF un, not OFF tun. The t is silent.


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Naked Olympian: Amanda Beard strips it off

. Thursday, August 7, 2008
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Olympian Amanda Beard strips off her swimsuit for a good cause.

The two-time Olympic gold medalist joins celebrities such as Alicia Silverstone and Eva Mendes who have also bared it all for PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

The new ad features Beard next to the tagline: "Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin. Don't Wear Fur." She's set to unveil the ad on Wednesday, just days before the kickoff of the Olympic Games in Beijing.

"[T]o see animals … slaughtered to be worn as fashion is awful to me, so I'm definitely against wearing fur," said Beard in a statement released by PETA.

So does she have any regrets about posing nude?

"No. I'd much rather go naked than ever put a dead animal on my body," Beard said.



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On this Day 7 August

1998: US embassies in Africa bombed

At least 200 people have been killed and more than 1,000 injured following explosions at United States embassies in Kenya and Tanzania.

The bombings took place within minutes of each other at around 1030 local time.

No-one has claimed responsibility but US officials suspect the attacks were the work of Osama bin Laden, an Islamic fundamentalist.

The first blast happened in the Tanzanian capital Dar es Salaam and the second, just five minutes later, in Nairobi, Kenya's capital city.

US ambassador hurt

The Nairobi explosion demolished a five-story office block sending it crashing onto the embassy next door.

The US Ambassador Prudence Bushnell was meeting Kenyan Trade Minister Joseph Kamotho at the nearby Ufundi Cooperative Bank at the time but was only slightly injured.

The blast could be heard 10 miles (16km) away and caused total chaos in the city centre.

Rufus Drabble, from the British High Commission, said there was a cloud of thick smoke over the city and helicopters hovered overhead.

The US embassy was extensively damaged and its bomb-proof doors were ripped off. Two passing buses were also wrecked.

Volunteers worked furiously to pull survivors from the rubble and cranes have been brought in to free people who are trapped at the bomb site.

There was also widespread devastation in Dar es Salaam, where a BBC correspondent said the embassy reception area had been destroyed.

Survivor Jim Owens said the blast at the Tanzanian embassy threw him back about five feet (1.5m).

He said: "The cuts I have do not look that bad but they bled profusely.

"They bled over my glasses so I couldn't see as I was walking around the smoke-filled embassy."

Clinton's condemnation

US President Bill Clinton has condemned the attacks as "abhorrent" and said every effort would be made to catch the bombers.

He said that the US was sending counter-terrorism experts and medical teams to the region. A team of US marines is also flying there to bolster security along with FBI agents.

"These acts of terrorist violence are abhorrent, they are inhuman," Mr Clinton said at the White House press conference.

"We will use all the means at our disposal to bring those responsible to justice," he added.

Mr Clinton said flags at all US government buildings would be flown at half-mast as a mark of respect to the victims.


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Paris Hilton mocks McCain in spoof ad

See more funny videos at Funny or Die
She’s blonde, she’s hot and she wants your vote: Paris Hilton for president?

The American hotel heiress has thrown her bikini into the presidential campaign with a video in which she declares she's "like, totally ready to lead."

In the clip, posted on the website www.funnyordie.com, Ms Hilton reclines on a poolside sun lounge dressed in a barely-there leopard print bathing suit and gold stilettos, and promises that, if elected, she will paint the White House pink.

The video is a spoof of John McCain's 'celebrity' advertisement released last week in which the Republican candidate compared Barack Obama's popularity with that of Ms Hilton and claimed the Democrat was no more than a celebrity candidate who was not ready to lead the nation.

In Ms Hilton's version of the advertisement, she tells electors: "Hey America, I'm Paris Hilton and I'm a celebrity too. Only I'm not from the olden days and I'm not promising change like that other guy. I'm just hot!”

Between flipping pages of a travel magazine, the 27-year-old socialite adds: "But then that wrinkly white-haired guy used me in his campaign ad, which I guess means I'm running for president. So thanks for the endorsement white-haired dude, and I want America to know I'm, like, totally ready to lead."

Ms Hilton then offers a bumbling alternative US energy strategy, suggesting that she plans to combine elements from Mr McCain and Democratic rival Mr Obama's policy platforms.

"We can do limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars. ... Energy crisis solved, I'll see you at the debates, bitches!"

Ms Hilton then signs off the ad by declaring that she is considering pop singer Rihanna as her vice-presidential running mate.

"I'll see you at the White House," Ms Hilton says. "Oh, and I might paint it pink. Bye.”

In just four hours since the spoof video was broadcast on the website, it had already been viewed by almost 600,000 people.

Funnyordie.com contributors Adam McKay and Chris Henchy pitched the idea of the video to Ms Hilton after the McCain ads were debated around the world.

"She got it that the McCain thing was a low blow," McKay told AFP. "And she felt she didn't want to return it with angry fire, and that this was the best way to respond. It's a playful jab."

Mr Henchy and Mr McKay both believe Ms Hilton is more intelligent than her tabloid persona lets on.

"She's a lot smarter than people give her credit for," Mr Henchy said.

McCain campaign spokesman Tucker Bounds said Ms Hilton appears to support his candidate's energy solution.

“Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan,” Mr Bounds said.

This week Ms Hilton's mother Kathy, who with her husband donated $4,600 to McCain's campaign earlier in the year, said the McCain 'celebrity' ad is: “a complete waste of the country's time and attention at the very moment when millions of people are losing their homes and their jobs”.

Ms Hilton is the great-grand daughter of Conrad Hilton, the founder of the eponymous hotel chain.

She came to fame in 2003 when an ex-boyfriend leaked a sex tape onto the internet and has since starred in critically panned films, released an album and made millions from merchandise including a perfume range.

A perennial favourite of the paparazzi, Hilton was jailed last year for 23 days for violating probation over an alcohol-related reckless driving conviction. Her arrest, imprisonment and subsequent release made headlines around the world.

Upon her release the world’s most famous socialite turned to religion, vowed to change her ways and “leave a mark on the world”. This week she is in Denmark promoting her latest handbag range, aptly named ‘Confidence’.


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Tania's Sex Tip #8 + World of Warcraft machinimas

Tania's sex tip # 8, watch it here after jump.


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Bullet proof bra for german policewomen

. Wednesday, August 6, 2008
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A Bulletproof bra? Sounds like something from a horrible and cheesy Pamela Anderson action flick. But it is not. This time it is serious and with a purpose.

They have been under secret scrutiny and tests for 2 months and have finally gotten the green signal. In case you are wondering who they are designed for (you and me obviously don't need it), they are for 3,000 German police women who are in frontline duty. These armour bras are a legitimate safety precaution. A female officer who is protected by only a bullet proof vest can suffer injuries sustained from metallic or plastic parts of ordinary underwear. This problem is gone with the super bras, because they are made of made of cotton, polyester, spandex and polyamide. The bras come in four different sizes with 'Polizei' printed on it. This almost sounds like what a stripper might wear. I wonder if the bullet proof bras come in the push up variety as well?


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Joke of the Day: Two Nuns

. Tuesday, August 5, 2008
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One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?

A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys!


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33 Names of Things You Never Knew had Names

. Monday, August 4, 2008
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1. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
5. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.




6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)




10. JARNS,
11. NITTLES,
12. GRAWLIX,
13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.




16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is 'asleep'.
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol '#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.




21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.
22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.




27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.


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Facts about blood donation

. Sunday, August 3, 2008
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* Person above 18 years of age and over 50 Kgs. in weight can donate blood once in three months.


* A normal adult has five to six liters of blood in his/her body of which only 300 ml is used during blood donation.


* This blood is replaced by your body within 24 to 48 hours!


* No special diet, rest or medicine is required after blood donation.


* The donor should not have taken any medicine in the last 48 hours.


* The donor should not have contacted jaundice in the previous three years.


* Every donor is given a medical checkup prior to donation to see if he/she is medically fit and doesn't suffer from anemia, high blood pressure etc.,


* The donor cannot contract AIDS or any other disease by donating blood.


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Joke of the Day: Impetuous Decision

An older Desi couple having taken all their past vacations either staying at home, or at friends’ and relatives’ homes in other cities decided now to stay in a top name luxury Hotel for an experience in a resort city and to cash an off-season discount coupon.

They came to the grandiose hotel, got their room keys and Bellman started escorting them.

A door opened, Husband and wife looked at each other with a big gasp.

Desi always devised their games to get better and more return for their money. The outspoken wife with tacit consent from the husband started blasting at the Bellman.

"You know we are from India. You can't fool us. You promise grand room, great view and this room does not even have a window, I don't see any bathroom. Do we have to toilet in the lobby? You think we don't know it. We have a distant cousin running a grocery store here in town, we will stay with them. I want to talk to your manager and we want our money back’’

The bellman explained politely, “Ma'am this is not your room. This is just our elevator to take you to your room.”


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